Lindsey Graham’s Pecan Pie
BREAKING NEWS
April 12, 2021
FORT SUMTER NATIONAL MONUMENT (MT)
Senator Lindsey Graham brought something special with him on his trip down to Fort Sumter National Monument this morning from his South Carolina home in Seneca. Pecan Pies!
“It’s an old family receipe that I thought I would share, this being a day to celebrate Southern culture. I was up all night preparing these six pecan pies and then the four hour drive to Sumter, so I am tired, about as tiiiired as I am of hearing about that Commie stimulus bill that the Democrats passed. Well, I don’t want to get off track talking about the Socialist & wasteful, debt increasing Democrats, when we should be talking about my pies and Southern culuture on this beautiful day when many years ago my Southern brothers had to defend themselves by opening fire on the Union-held Fort Sumter, right here in South Carolina’s Charleston Bay. Starting that little conflict know as the Civil War. My family was eating the same pecan pie as we are today, when they had to go and push out the invaders from the North.,” an excited Lindsey Graham revealed.
“You know know the trick that makes these pies so great? It is the 3 tablespoons of bourbon and the 1/4 cup of maple syrup. I won’t tell you eveything though, it is a recipe passed down from my Great-great great grandfather or Great great great uncle, same receipe, they were the same guy. In Washington, they-all just say Lindsey’s pies and everybody knows what it is. I make them for a lot of folks birthdays, though there are a couple congress people’s pies that I wouldn’t mind throwing in a little arsenic, hehehahahehe. Seriously, I hope these pies help some, as once again we have the North infringing on Southern culture, by trying to get us to take down all our statues and messing with our voting rights. D gosh darn, it is not right, it makes me angrier than a nest of Carolina hornets, and that’s all I will say about that, we have pie to eat, ” reflected Graham.
MT honors all the souls that suffered because of America’s tragic civil war that began 160 years ago today.
April 12, 1861 —
Civil War begins as Confederate forces fire on Fort Sumter
The bloodiest four years in American history begin when Confederate shore batteries under General P.G.T. Beauregard open fire on Union-held Fort Sumter in South Carolina’s Charleston Bay. During the next 34 hours, 50 Confederate guns and mortars launched more than 4,000 rounds at the poorly supplied fort. On April 13, U.S. Major Robert Anderson surrendered the fort. Two days later, U.S. President Abraham Lincoln issued a proclamation calling for 75,000 volunteer soldiers to quell the Southern “insurrection.”
https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/the-civil-war-begins
