Twilight Zone Seven
MTP Breaking News Worried Rudy Wonders If Trump Will Pardon Him After FBI Raids Guiliani’s Home Blames Democrats for poor cell reception in frantic attempt to reach Trump Former President Trump golfs daily finding new ways to cheat on the green Hopes to find replacement sucker soon More as...
McCarthyism
A severe sickness created by a McCarthy that produces delusional thinking and behavior. McCarthyism regularly appears each century for an extended period of time. Currently the United States is in the Kevin period of McCarthyism. The only known treatmeant for people affected by McCarthyism: Electric shock or a lobotomy...
The Gray Eagle Was Fenway’s First Hero
As survivors from the RMS Titanic reached New York, Boston’s Fenway Park would finally host its first professional baseball game after several days of rain cancellations. Over 27,000 attended the first game, which was a good number considering the melancholy mood surrounding the Titanic disaster, that included 17 residents...
When The Future Is So Bright Wear Atomic Guard
The Astrodome in Houston, Texas was deemed the “Eighth Wonder of the World” when it opened in 1965. It was the world’s first multi-purpose, domed sports stadium. Like its space exploring neighbor down the road, NASA, the Astrodome, with it unique, never before seen futuristic design, represented the exciting ultra-modern that many...
Abraham Lincoln’s Last Laugh
At 7:22 a.m. on April 15, 1865, Abraham Lincoln died at the Petersen House across the street from the Ford Theatre, where John Wilkes Booth had shot the President in the back of the head the previous night. Only six days after Confederate General Robert E. Lee surrendered his...
Jordan Wins Middle America’s Most Cuckoo Congressperson Trophy
April 15, 2021 WASHINGTON (MT) Congressman Jim Jordan was sad all morning following the night that his good friend Steve King had been defeated in the Iowa Republican primary. By afternoon, however, he was feeling darn right scrappy after having some Jim time and thinking things over. Hadn’t his...
Lindsey Graham’s Pecan Pie
BREAKING NEWS April 12, 2021 FORT SUMTER NATIONAL MONUMENT (MT) Senator Lindsey Graham brought something special with him on his trip down to Fort Sumter National Monument this morning from his South Carolina home in Seneca. Pecan Pies! “It’s an old family receipe that I thought I would share,...
Karate Chop Strikeouts
Nineteen years after Jackie Robinson broke Major League Baseball’s color barrier as a player, Emmett Ashford became the Major Leagues first African American umpire on April 11, 1966. In front of 44,468 opening day cheering fans at Washington’s D.C. Stadium, history was made as Ashford ran to his post...
Batter Up – Fenway Park April 9, 1912
One hundred and nine years ago today, Fenway Park hosted its first game, an exhibition that the Red Sox won 2-0 over Harvard University. It was a cold April day with snow flurries, brutual weather that was more suited for the Boston Patriots playing football at Fenway Park. The Patriots played six seasons at Fenway...
Urgent Plea From Televangelist Joel Osteen
American pastor and televangelist extraordinaire, Joel Osteen, hopes this Easter will spark a new spirit of giving to his ministries after reporting a 2 percent decline in revenue. Here are some Good Friday words from Joel Osteen, as reported from MT News. “I am sure y’all remember that I...