Urgent Plea From Televangelist Joel Osteen
American pastor and televangelist extraordinaire, Joel Osteen, hopes this Easter will spark a new spirit of giving to his ministries after reporting a 2 percent decline in revenue.
Here are some Good Friday words from Joel Osteen, as reported from MT News.
“I am sure y’all remember that I mentioned last Easter, about how my family had been suffering in quarantine for over a month, experiencing how tough this pandemic could be. We’all had those bad temptations, like eating too much, especially those Maine Lobsters cooked to perfection by Chef Ruiz, or betting on who was going to win the 18 hole miniature golf game at the home course that day. Then like a flash of lightning, it came to me during my one mile morning swim in the indoor pool, just how much a 17,000 square feet house can feel like a can of sardines after a month in quarantine. I said Joel, you have got to change this, destroy this negative mood, so you can go back to your best preaching and helping all your flock. Amen!”
“Well, I am happy to report today just how much the Lord works in such wonderful and compassionate ways. Not only is our home well on its way to the desired 33,000 square feet, we have also been able to hire back the 4 domestic servants we laid-off and added 2 more, to bring the total to 14 dometic servants, an all-time record. To top it off, we added two Sous-chefs to make it easier on Chef Ruiz. Praise the Lord! We have also found enough of God’s good will to make an Olympic sized kids pool, to go along with the mens’ and womens’ adult pools, a treasure of enjoyment for family and friends!”
“Good golly, now it’s time for the serious stuff. I had a dream the other night and Jesus Christ our savior said,” ‘Joel, you need a proper sized jet to provide ministry to all people of the world. Your little Airbus A319 is not going to get it done.’ “He said, ‘Oste” (sometimes he calls me that) ‘have you checked out the Airbus A380 model?’ “After I said no, he said,’ ‘what are you waiting for? You have all the gas and oil in Texas to fuel the thing, the pandemic is over, it’s time to get moving.’
“Today I am excited to say that we are now is possession of an A380 named Savior One and we are ready to get moving! Now we need your help! With your sacred contributions and prayers increasing by only 25 percent, I am confident and happy to say that each one of us will feel the light of our savior in every step and breath taken, as we leave behind the dark ages of the pandemic and move into a new Heaven on Earth. Like I always say, no matter who does you wrong, you don’t have to stay defeated. Together we will move forward, letting the neighborhoods of negativity grow bigger without us.”
“In closing, I want to thank y’all in advance for being God’s masterpiece, his earthly perfections, as we contribute to each others salvation. A down payment for our future glory. Amen! And may God forever bless each and everyone of you. I am humbled, as I stand here in witness”
— Good Friday words from Televangelist Joel Osteen
